Always saying yes isn't healthy

When you're over committed and under too much stress, you're more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick. Saying NO can be very difficult. People with low self-esteem very often have a lack of assertiveness and think they have to meet the expectations of everyone. It is very hard for them to set limits with others. They sometimes feel ashamed or guilty if they would say NO. But to do things against your will and possibilities will end up in feeling used and resentful.

A simple and direct "NO, I am not able to help you with that" is the best solution. If you want to (have to) give an explanation you should keep it simple:"NO, I have already made an another appointment for this time" or "NO, sorry. I am afraid I have to decline because I have no spare time."

If someone makes a request it is fair to ask for time to think it over. The decision should be up to you, but sometimes it is difficult to say NO right now. You can try to use an empathic NO, if you would have helped under different circumstances:

"Sorry, no. I would have kept your cat next weekend. But my husband and I will be off for visit. I know it will be hard to find someone to take care off the cat. I will try to help you next time." Remember : Saying NO is a very honorable response. You have the right to say "No"!

You may consider these reasons for saying no:

1. Saying no isn't necessarily selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you're honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you'll be able to devote quality time to them.

2. Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you've always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn't mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no will give you time to pursue other interests.

3. Saying yes can cut others out. On the other hand, when you say no you open the door for others to step up. They may not do things exactly the way you would, but that's OK. They'll find their own way.